


Cuz I'm all out of hurt, you used up all I got

by enbyseer



Category: half life but the ai is self aware
Genre: Gun mentions, HLVRAI, Knife Mention, M/M, Mention of dismemberment, Minor Violence, tommy threatens gordon a lot i apologize
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:40:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25237840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enbyseer/pseuds/enbyseer
Summary: tommy leaves the group and meets up with gordon again, but probably not in a situation either of them wanted.this is very self indulgent and written really fast I apologize
Relationships: Tommy Coolatta/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 1
Kudos: 55





	Cuz I'm all out of hurt, you used up all I got

**Author's Note:**

> this is gonna get a chapter 2 eventually so that's why theres a ship tag but atm it's just tommy pissed and angry moments! also this is my first time using ao3

it was only a few hours after tommy had left the group but it had felt like forever. he didnt care though, he was better off without them. he finally felt, himself. he wasnt looked down on, wasnt thought of in a negative way. he was finally just a scientist trying to survive. as he walked through the halls of his former job's facility he gripped the knife he had picked up, trying to resist the urge to just stab something. he wanted to yell, wanted to just scream and get everything out. without thinking, he grabbed one of the sides of his lab coat and ripped it with the blade, letting out a frustrated grunt. god, that felt so fucking good. he did it again and again until the end of the side was ripped to sheds, though he kept the fabric to use as bandages if needed. he needed to keep moving, he needed to get out of black mesa.

a few more hours passed and tommy had decided to take a break, he was walking for hours so he was exhausted. as he sat down and chewed on his necklace he heard some distant footsteps, grabbing his pistol and getting ready to shoot. as they got closer he was standing up more and extending his arm, ready to pull trigger whenever.  
the owner of the footsteps finally showed himself, it was gordon. which only caused him to ready himself more, he didn't care.   
"tommy! there you are! we were worried sick about you, are you okay?! are you hu-" tommy cut him off with a scoff and an eyeroll.   
"oh, so now you care? really? when I'm finally away from you, you care?" he asked obviously not wanting an answer. tommy didn't loosen his grip or move his aim. it wasn't for his protection or anything, he knew what he was doing. he was freaking gordon out, and he knew it.  
"kid, you know-"  
"don't fucking call me that."  
"wh-" gordon's eyes went wide, was thrown off by the swear and tone in the other's voice. he moved closer to the one who spoke, but the only response he got was a gun pointed to his head instead of his chest. "tommy."  
"gordon."   
there was a silence for a bit, neither of them knowing what to say. but gordon noticed tommy's expression turn to pissed to worried, he wasn't sure why. his eyes had a shine to them, not because of the light but because they were literally glowing. if they weren't in the light it would be ten times more terrifying.  
"what did I do!?" he finally spoke, well... shouted.  
"what did you do!? you treat me like a god damn kid, gordon! you think I can't handle shit myself, and im tired of it!" tommy sighed, fixing his aim. "you're lucky i have a little bit of an impulse, y'know?"  
that sentence scared the shit out of him. was tommy really willing to kill gordon? ...probably, and that scared the shit out of him. of all the science team he really didn't expect this out of tommy, and that was his downfall. "tommy, put the fucking gun down, just talk to me without threatening me?" he sounded desperate.  
the taller man thought for a few seconds before putting his gun down. mostly down, it was still in his hand but it was no longer pointed at gordon's face.   
"what's going on? with you."  
"isnt it obvious? i just want to go home, never see any of this again. my birthday is in a few days and i just want to go home and live life. I want to forget all of this," he motions behind him, showing off black mesa. "and..." pause. "you guys. i want to just, rewind everything. or act like this never happened."  
hearing that tommy wanted to forget them hurt gordon in a way he didnt think he could get hurt anymore. "......seriously? you want to just act like none of this happened? I get it, this is hell. but it's happening, and you have to accept it-"  
"no I fucking dont!"  
"yes you do! tommy," gordon grabbed his hand, pulling him closer towards him. "we all have to accept this. and do you really want to forget us, the only people who know what happened?"  
tommy was silent, just staring at gordon's face. he was... crying. no, no tommy was. god he was fucking crying around gordon. and he didnt mind, he just pulled him into a hug which broke tommy. this was sad, it really was in his head. he didnt hug back, he didnt know if he should've. he just pointed a gun at this man and threatened him, he thought about cutting him up and now. he didn't know what to think. 

it only took a few minutes before tommy and gordon were on the floor with tommy sobbing in the man's arms. he cried like he hadn't ever cried before, and gordon was there to comfort him. he wasnt the best at it, but it was the thought that counted. "its okay, tommy... its okay..." he hushed as he pet his mess of hair. tommy tried to speak but only gasped for air and coughed. god he needed something to drink. 

it was about 15 minutes until tommy finally gathered himself and stopped crying, but it only took 30 seconds for him to start endlessly apologizing. he apologized for crying, for getting hev suit wet, for yelling at gordon, for putting a gun at his head, for leaving him and the others, for awful thoughts he had about him. gordon didn't care about any of it, he didn't want any apologizes, he completely understood. he did treat him like a child, he treated him horribly and he understood why tommy was pissed. "hey... you're fine." is all he spoke out.  
tommy apologized again, soon letting out a laugh at himself. god he was a mess.  
"sorry for laughing mr. freeman, it was at myself."  
gordon nodded and let out a laugh too, making sure it wasn't awkward. "i get it, dont worry tommy.."


End file.
